Woo
by ashedraven
Summary: BrightEphram preslash -- This was how it happened. (spoilers for episode "Blind Faith")


_do you cry out in your sleep / all my failings exposed?   
joy division, "love will tear us apart"_

  


Ephram didn't even look up when Bright plopped his tray down on the table and sprawled into the chair next to his. And it wasn't on account of his ever-present headphones, because he wasn't even wearing them. He was just staring at the table. 

"Hey, what's wrong with you? I thought you'd be in a good mood today." 

Ephram turned his head ever-so-slowly to glare at Bright. "And why would you think that?" 

"Well, you and Amy looked close at the wedding. Isn't that what you've wanted for, I don't know, forever?" 

"Close. Right. Probably because she didn't want half the town to hear her say that I should move on with my life and forget about her." 

"She said that?" Bright asked around a mouthful of hamburger. 

"Well, not in so many words, but that was about the gist of it. She said I shouldn't let her stand in the way of me and someone else." 

"Really? Even after all that good stuff I told her about you?" And Bright never would have said that if he hadn't been so surprised. 

"You told her good stuff about me? Wow, Bright, I'm really..." 

"Flattered?" he suggested. 

"Strangely suspicious. And hurt, that you would try to pawn me off on your sister like that. What, you wanted me to have to bum rides from her?" 

"Of course not! I just wanted her to experience the joys of your company. It's not like I get tired of hauling your skinny ass around all the time." 

"Then I guess you haven't heard the good news." 

"Nope, guess I haven't." Bright waited for an explanation, but Ephram just stole a french fry from his tray and ate it. "So, were you just asking, or are you actually going to tell me what it is?" 

"It's just fun to fuck with you sometimes. Okay, most of the time. But I guess I might as well tell you." Ephram paused dramatically. "I passed my driver's test, so there will be no more hauling my 'skinny ass' around anymore, anyway." 

"Really? Congrats. I'm sure the orange safety cones of the world are heaving a huge sigh of relief." 

"Dude, safety cones are inanimate. They can't breathe." 

"Yeah, well...You read comic books. That's so dorky. And besides, it was, like, personification." 

"I would correct you on your horribly erroneous labeling of my manga, but it's a pretty pointless waste of my time if you haven't figured it out by now. So instead, let me just say, six-syllable words? I'm impressed." 

Bright considered not answering him, but he'd become maybe a little too used to Ephram's drama queen bullshit. Instead, he finished off his burger and said, "Yep, I have to brush up on that shit now that I've got to get into college with my grades." 

"Ah, so you're working on expanding that vocabulary beyond the usual grunts and monosyllables. Try this word on for size, then: _pneumonoultramicroscopicsilicovolcanonitosis_." 

Bright stared at him. "You're making that up." 

"Am not," Ephram insisted. "It's a medical term for an illness that people can get if they inhale volcanic ash." 

"How silly of me to be confused. Common knowledge, really," Bright said sarcastically. "Must happen all the time." 

"Hey, if you want to sound smart -- which is, admittedly, quite a stretch -- that word'll do it." 

"Right, because it's so easy to toss into everyday conversation. Can you picture me at the dinner table, saying, 'So I was reading last month's National Geographic, and it seems that pneumovolca-whatever is quite rampant in Hawaii'?" 

"Not really. If you wanted to sound smart, you'd pronounce it right." 

Bright snorted. "Because it'd be so _useful_!" 

"I found a way to incorporate it into our conversation, didn't I?" Ephram smirked. 

"Well, Ephram, I hate to break it to you, but that's because you're a huge nerd. You're the only person besides my dad who knows stupid shit like that." 

"Oooh, comparisons to your father! My day is now complete. How could Amy resist the guy who's like her dad?" And Ephram was back to staring at the table. 

Bright sobered. "Hey, I was kidding." 

"Thank you, captain obvious," Ephram muttered. 

"You know, it's not about you." 

"Care to clarify what, exactly, isn't about me?" 

"Amy," Bright said, noting the way Ephram seemed to pull in on himself when he said her name. "How she's been acting." 

"I know, I know. It's about Colin." Ephram shrugged. "That's not exactly news, Bright; it's always been about Colin." 

"No, man. It's about Amy. I mean, yeah, it has to do with Colin, but...I don't know," Bright struggled to find the right words. "It's something more than that. Like, I don't think she sleeps much anymore. The other night, I passed by her door at four in the morning or something, and her light was still on. Our rooms are right next to each other, and sometimes I can hear her crying. But she won't talk to me about it. And I'd probably think it was because she's still blaming me for what happened, except that she won't really talk to anyone. It's not just you. So I don't know, maybe if you give her a while..." 

Ephram was silent for a moment. "Yeah. I just don't know if I'm willing to wait anymore. And why are you telling me this, anyway? This time last year, you wouldn't have let me touch Amy with a ten-foot pole. Now you're actively encouraging it." 

"Well, it's for purely selfish reasons. When Amy ignores you, you get in a bad mood. You get all sulky and snappy, and you look like you're about to cry whenever you're in a bad mood. Which would actually be most of the time, but the point is, when you're all sulky, it kind of takes the fun out of being mean to you. Besides, I don't want people associating me with the guy who, like, broke down and cried in the cafeteria." 

Ephram snorted. "I get 'snappy,' huh? That might work if you were talking about my fashionable style. I think the word you're looking for might be 'snappish' or even 'waspish.'" 

"And there you go, proving my point. See how that works?" 

"So did you really put in a good word for me with Amy?" 

"Yeah, it was pretty disgusting, actually." Bright made a face. "I was practically drooling over you." 

"What has the world come to? Bright Abbott is extolling my virtues to his little sister. Will wonders never cease?" Ephram actually smiled. "What did you say about me?" 

"Dude, it's bad enough that I had to say it once. There's no way I'm telling you." 

"Why not? Are you embarrassed that you could actually find good things to say about me?" 

"No," Bright drawled. "But I'm feeling a little guilty now, since they were obviously all lies." 

Ephram rolled his eyes, but when he met Bright's gaze, he looked curious. "But you, uh, really wouldn't mind if I dated Amy?" 

"Well, she could do worse. And you're really not so bad, I guess." 

"Now there's a resounding endorsement! You really have to stop it with the flattery, Bright," Ephram said, clutching his chest. "I don't know how much more my system can take." 

"Shut up, Brown," Bright said, but he laughed despite himself. 

"You know, with all that flattery, I have to wonder about your intentions. You must know you're wasting your time, because that I'm not that kind of a girl." 

Bright furrowed his brow. "Wha-- Hey! I wouldn't waste my time on _you_." He blushed anyway. "Besides, you should be so lucky! I'm quite irresistible." 

"Oh, are you? Sorry, I hadn't noticed." 

"That's because I haven't been trying to woo you." Bright winked. 

"Woo?" Ephram laughed. "I'd like to see you try." 

And that was how Bright Abbott ended up having a sort-of date with Ephram Brown. 

**END.**


End file.
